By Michael Ruben, LICSW The deep cold weather, the cloudy days, the early darkness, ice and snow. We can remain home and feel trapped by winter.  A couple of clients even mentioned the similar feeling to the pandemic. We can feel like we’re in lockdown. Seasonal affective disorder which includes symptoms of irritability, hopelessness,  low energy, persistent sadness, social withdrawal, carb cravings, weight gain, and oversleeping  occurs in over 9% of New Englanders.   And mo

by Michael Ruben LICSW Many of us celebrate the New Year with a commitment to improve our habits.  Whether it’s to have a dry January, lose weight, take up a new hobby, join a gym, or be a better partner or parent, by Spring, we often forget these goals. Some of this has to do with the difficulty of changing our behaviors and maintaining the initial energy and commitment to work on these goals.  We resist being told what to do, even by ourselves.  In other words, goals become

by Michael Ruben, LICSW Well, the holidays bring the joys and challenges of families gathering.  The stress of the holidays for many of us is in the  planning, organizing  and preparing. From unhelpful guests to overly helpful in-laws to political opposites, tension can spread like a forest fire.  “I dread it,” one client told me last week. “Worst day of the year,” said another.  “Capitalism at its most miserable and each year we’re supposed to make it bigger and better.”  As

Understanding Non-Verbal Communication Do you know how important your tone of voice and facial expressions are in your relationships? It’s fascinating to realize that in couple relationships, approximately 75% of communication is non-verbal. That’s right! Eyerolling, grimacing, frowning, turning away, scowling, yawning, finger-pointing, hunching, or even sneering can be perceived as anger or indifference. Even when the words we say are neutral, our non-verbal behavior speaks

By Michael Ruben, LICSW The two common traps we fall into in our relationship are to: Hear our partner is upset and explain or defend why...

We live in a society that promotes individualism.   Self-absorption has its roots both in her society and in our childhood experiences...

by Michael Ruben, LICSW Many of my clients in Couples Therapy are looking for ways to reignite passion and desire, but have difficulty...

By Michael Ruben, LICSW   I often see couples who want to know how to improve their communication and their relationship.   Sometimes...

By Michael Ruben, LICSW   So often we fall into the trap of blaming our partner for a myriad of problems. Our nature is to find the...

By Michael Ruben LICSW Each of us has a different relationship with money.  Often, this is shaped by our childhood experiences and...

by Michael Ruben LICSW How often do you really listen to your partner? Are you glancing at your phone, going through your mental to-do...

By Michael Ruben LICSW As a couples therapist, I've found that each person has their own preference for closeness and distance. In...

By Michael Ruben LICSW We can create unhappiness for ourselves when we question, or negatively obsess over our decisions. Do we have to...