Take the 5 love language quiz online at https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile. Share the results with your partner. Make sure you are keeping each other’s love bank full.
Plan a weekly date night, take turns with this. Not the same thing or the same old restaurant. Plan an experience, rock climbing, walking the beach, race car driving, exploring a new town.
Plan a trip leaving Saturday morning and returning late Sunday evening every 3-4 months. Two hour drive max but it allows for Maine, NH, Vermont, Berkshires, Newport, and the Cape. A long uninterrupted date.
Take time before reacting to convey understanding to your partner. In your own words restate what they said so they know you got it! Everyone wants love, but also very important is understanding.
Use conflict resolutions strategies when disagreeing. First determine if the argument is important. If its about partly cloudy vs. partly sunny you are both right, let it go? Otherwise try to find a compromise and brainstorm these. If not figure out on a scale of 1-10 how important the issue to each of you.
Remember the things you are often most troubled by in your partner are often qualities you may have but be unaware of. Try not to fix them before you fix yourself.
Remember when trying to work on your relationship the three “C”s. You can’t cure, change it or control it. When you understand this fully, then do what you can within these constraints.
Remember infatuation lasts 6-18 months, after that you see not only the wonderful side of your partner but the reverse as most qualities are double sided. As long as you have a more favorable view of them then negative your relationship with thrive.
Make time for affection, intimacy and sexuality….schedule if necessary. Its very important in keeping the connection and the uniqueness of the relationship.
Don’t be afraid to ask for professional help rather than struggle. The longer problems are avoided the more entrenched and the more complicated they become to unravel. Power struggles, avoidance, distance and disconnection don’t help to solve problems but to deepen the void between you.